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|An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were
without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics
hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was
tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a
While wandering around outside the stadium, the
Englishman came upon
construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing
a length of
scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate and said,
"Johnson, the pole
vault," and was admitted.
overhearing this, went at once to search the site. When
he came up
with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and
"McTavish, the hammer." He was also admitted.
The Irishman combed
the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give
up when he spotted
his ticket in. Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he
at the gate and announced, "O'Sullivan, fencing."
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